How to stop wasting time.

I am in my living room because it is way too hot in my studio at this time of the day. Next to the open window, the sun is hiding somewhere behind the buildings, my playlist of classical music is on, the sweet creamy coffee is filling the mug just like it’s aroma is filling the whole house. It’s  an awfully quiet day in our neighborhood, in my mind as well. Although it’s  a Sunday but I was working on  finishing a painting this morning, I’d say that I am very satisfied with the result and I will be sharing it very soon.

Something came up to my mind after my trip to the coffee house an hour ago so I thought I will share it with you here. 
I read a letter the other day in a book, the letter is about a girl who has some kind of neurological disease that keeps her from leaving her bed, a bed she stayed in for almost three years. She describes the pleasure she feels when it’s night time and she can look out at the harbor from her little window, when all the night lights are on and the stars are all there shining the scenery in front of her. It was her ultimate pleasure, to be able to witness this every night is an absolute pleasure. 

And even though this letter or those lines are fictional, it hit me so hard, it was a strong reminder of something I have forgetting about long ago. Three years ago I got into  a car accident, thankfully it was not so bad but I came out with a fractured ankle, a broken finger, and some bruises in my knee and back. I had to have a bed rest for three weeks, three weeks only! and I remember crystal clear how at that time I consumed everything in me more than ever, from art and knowledge and literature. I spent all time with an extreme hunger to learn and educate myself, in my bed that was filled with flowers and tea cups, I painted and read many novels and poetry books, I watched films more than I ever watched in that year. With every passing hour I felt  so much physical pain yet spiritual peace in me. 

Do we actually realize a thing’s value only when we lose it? Sometimes we do really take the most basic stuff in our daily life for granted. We forget to practice gratitude so we end up forgetting all about it. We wake up wanting to know what everybody else is up to, instead of hearing our heart out. We start our days by looking at the image reflected in the mirror pointing out all the flaws there is instead of being thankful for the fact that we are able to stand and look in the mirror in the first place. 

There is nothing more beautiful than improving, but wanting to improve all the time without being aware of the day-to-day details that is forming the self development is a waste of time.
My only advice to my older self, and myself that is writing this at this moment, and to you: never waste your time chasing perfection. As cliche as this might sound, but in every action start by being grateful for the opportunity you have in your hands. Be grateful because you are trying and exploring instead of thinking of the end results. I have been guilty for feeling like this BIG time; constantly thinking about the outcomes. We will always thrive perfection, we are always in a hunt to capture the perfect moment, creating the perfect art piece, have the perfect skin and wardrobe, go on the perfect vacation, the list can go on. But if you only want what is perfect, you will miss everything else in the way, all the knowledge, all the mistakes and you may even end up by blaming other for your own foggy image of what improving is supposed to be.

Note to everybody who is reading this, Please grab your favorite mug, fill it with coffee or tea or you drink of joy, and just take a break from everything you are living for a moment. Life is only good  when we stop and stare every now and then. ☕️