A year filled with change.

Last week I turned twenty seven! Typing this right now seems surreal for some reason, I think back in my mind I feel i am still in my first twenty, when i am actually in the second half.
This birthday was different in every possible way. I was away from my home, away from my family, friends. Away from my walls and bedroom and cat, for that there was a little hole deep in my heart that ached for a while. I didn’t stay up with my sister till midnight waiting the clock to turn 12 so we can eat pizza on the floor and for me to have a big smile on my face pretending I feel older now. I didn’t see my mother’s face first thing in the morning, I didn’t taste her kisses on my forehead and cheeks, I didn’t have her telling me the story of my birth and had the chance to tell her the same silly  punch lines I always say while she talked about that day. I miss them so much it hurts.
This year my birthday was so calm and still.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not a party girl or anything, often i just enjoy my birthday with my family. Painting and setting goals with my sister. Talking for hours with my mother, and I might have a drive with few friends, It sure was always an eventful day.

This year I celebrated my birthday in different city, different country, different home.  This year there was only me and him, and the waves. For me this was enough in a way. it’s true I miss everything there in my hometown,But I feel the world with him. Together we ate my favorite cake, I wrote poems of us and poems about the sea. Hand in hand we walked by the shore and I talked to all the seagulls and cats and flowers. we had the restaurant made me special veggie burger that was not in the menu, because I just needed that burger in my birthday.
It was soundless day yet full of love and dreams.
In my handbag I carried my sketchbook and colors but the weather was so windy I felt I was flying,haha.

For my twenty seven I vowed many promises to my self, in arts, in religion and in relationships. A few to share with you; I want to accept life as it it and stop forcing art and creation to happen, I want to slow down. To look at the things I’ve accomplished instead What is not yet there. I really want to work on making my heart the best version of itself by keeping it away from everything that cause fear and doubt.