Sitting on the blue couch for more than 3 hours now, in 3 hours i checked the news, listed to a violin concert streaming on radio, finished 40 pages of don miguel ruiz’s book, the three questions.
Checking the news, i thought about the injustice of this world while going through instagram, the shame and helplessness of our countries to help the civilians and children and elderly, our brothers and sisters in Gaza, how inhuman human can be. The ugliness and harshness that come with war, the mental and physical price paid, the trauma..the complexity of understanding that all human lives matters, not only the muslims nor just the jews, nor just the black, nor the caucasian, nor the African, nor just the women nor just the men, ALL lives should matter equally.
Listening to the radio I space out for a while, i realize how much i miss the piano, i miss making ceramics and pottery, i miss creating with both of my hand and all of my heart, in three hours i sat goals and felt inflamed to create and breath through creating again, putting my soul into things.
Reading this book, i felt weird, to be in a world where we need to understand who we are just to then look for perfect label and standards to put ourself into, put and settle down in with our families and loved ones. I feel so overwhelmed with the news and the power of media to turn us, all human,coming from the same place and going to the same place, against each others.
Three hours passed, the doctor will call me to come in my on few minutes as my husband (the patient before me just came out, he took three hours in there yes!). I feel all sort of things right now, i never enjoyed going to the dentist, always had semi- fear emotions , but today just like i have been feeling recently, i am happy to go in. I wake up everyday for the last month devastated by the news, praying and getting closer to Allah, having stronger faith, having an immense urge to focus on my identity and my career and nurturing my kids, having a strong appreciation for the options and choices i can do in the hope to make me better human so i can do better to this world. so grateful for he life i have.
